Year End

I have to admit I am not enthused over New Year’s. I’ve thought perhaps if I made more of an effort to make it an event, I would get more out of it.

But I don’t enjoy the retrospectives, the best-of lists and the overall sentimentality that we are saying goodbye to the past and welcome the possibilities of the future. Partly, the day is so arbitrary. It is a new calendar year but to nature, the universe and all, it’s just another gap between one moment and the next. I hate to think that if I really screw up on January 4, I have to wait 12 months to feel that I have a fresh start. A fellow clergy-wife once told me that her whole life, she had started a diet on Monday just to have fallen off the wagon by Wednesday. She was dieting from Monday to Wednesday and had officially given up Thursday to Sunday. I believe we can always do better, have a second (or third or fourth…) chance, anytime we make up our minds to do so. We limit ourselves with arbitrary starting points.

I don’t think in terms of years, either. A lot of major events occured for us during 2009: a miscarriage, a new job for Thomas, a job loss for me, two household moves, buying our first house and a viable pregnancy. But summed up that way, each event loses weight amongst the rest. I think of events on their own or part of the much larger picture, of our life or of our marriage or as a step to something else.

But as I said, perhaps this year I’ll make an effort to have a little party for the two three of us. Some snacks, a movie and a kiss at midnight.

Maybe there is something to be said for a shared fresh start.

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