I knew that our trip to Wisconsin would throw Adam for a loop and once we returned, his sleep would be a tad erratic. And as I’m on night duty, having breasts and all, I knew that I was in for some more sleepless nights. But this is ridiculous.
Regular readers know that Adam has never slept through the night. Not even close. I think the best he’s done is waking three times in one night and that was a rare occurance indeed. He’s more of a six to eight times a night baby. Needless to say, I’m exhausted so when he fusses more than usual in the middle of the night and I cannot remaining upright myself, nevermind soothe a wiggly baby, I started bringing him into bed with us. It wasn’t my first, second or third choice. Our bed is small and Thomas and I are hardly small people. Adding a baby to the bed isn’t realistic. I didn’t sleep well but when I was beyond tired and couldn’t cope anymore, catching a few uncomfortable and inadequate winks were the best I could do.
The last half of our trip Adam started screaming at night when he’s usually more of a whimperer. Back home and back to his routine, he’s cut the night time crying by about half. Our nights start as they did pre-trip – in his crib, sleeps for 45 minutes, needs soothing, back to sleep for another 45. After that, he used to sleep for a couple hours before waking up to nurse and on it would go throughout the night. Now not only will he scream bloody murder when put down in his crib, as of last night, lying next to me on the floor isn’t good enough. He will only sleep if he’s held.
I know the likely solution is to let him fuss, either in his crib or next to me and eventually he will be so exhausted he will fall asleep. But after eight months of so little sleep, I cannot even entertain the idea. Instead, my mind goes to how can I hold him and still sleep myself. And that’s what I did last night: held him in the crook of my arm and half sat up, half leaned… for nearly seven hours, broken up by more crying, more feeding, more soothing.
Clearly, this can’t continue. He naps just dandy in his crib and the beginning of the night, too. Why does he fuss as the night goes on? Do I wait him out?
I dread night time. I wish I didn’t have to sleep at all.