The good news is that Adam and I are spending a lot of time together. Specifically, overnight.
He had a hard time settling during the night while he was teething and in order to get some sleep, I slept with him on the floor. He’s feeling better but cuddling with Mama is pretty awesome and he’s relunctant to give it up. I know I need to deal with this, just like I’ve dealt with every “bad” sleeping habit we’ve developed, but 11 months of experience has taught me that it will take more than a few nights of crying and I’m too tired right now. I feel I choose between no sleep for half the night when trying to get Adam to do something he doesn’t want to do (sleeping in his crib, falling asleep in his crib, etc.) and getting a full night’s worth of half-sleep, when I sleep with him.
He’s what Dr. Sears very accurately describes as a “high needs” baby and unless you’ve known a baby like that, it’s hard to understand. All the things that work with other babies don’t do a darn thing with a high needs baby. He doesn’t give in, he doesn’t compromise. He tells you what he needs and the longer you try to change his needs, the more he digs in.
That being said, Adam’s sleeping has improved. When I think back to the hours it took for him to calm down enough to sleep or the various stages when he woke up every 45 minutes, I know that we are doing better. Despite my best efforts, improvement came when he was good and ready. Every night, we work on it but there’s only so far that I can go. If I ask for more, he becomes clingy and moody and that can last for days.
When I do whatever I need do so that we both get some sleep, he’s calmer and happier. That doesn’t make it any easier to hear all the advice that comes our way. I’ve tried everything and I’ve read every book. There is no one that wants him to sleep better than me. But as I hard as it is and as tired as I am (and boy, am I tired), I know that accepting Adam and his needs is the only way to go.
I would write more but zzz….